tall order

Last night, over dinner with officemates, being all female, the talk turns to the other team.

"Ano ba, ma'am, ang hanap mo?"

Not an easy question to answer, really. With all the things and situations I've seen, I'm more inclined to know what I don't want.

I don't want a guy who is less than I am.

I know it sounds harsh. But see, I'm not talking about the shallow stuff. I'm not talking about money or appearance.

I have a friend who struggles daily because she married a man who can't be a man for his family. She's the one who tries to keep everything together while he tries to find what he wants to do with his life. The funny part is that he knows she's struggling but just can't seem to prop himself up and find a job so that his family can eat, so that his wife doesn't have to resort to borrowing money to ensure their basic needs are met. And the tragic part? Their eldest is starting school this year.

I know of guys who have problems with their wives but do everything to avoid resolving it and instead express their frustrations another way. I don't like conflicts as much as, if not more so, than any other person. But I don't just back down either. If there is a problem, and I know letting it fester will make things worse, I speak up.

Some guys boost their confidence and self-image by treating other people, including their wives and/or girlfriends poorly. Some neglect, some abuse, some cheat, some make a fool of other people, and some merely walk all over them.

One thing that makes me want to crawl out of my skin about a guy is when he is more melodramatic than me. Can you really respect a guy who falls apart faster than you?

Give me a man who can hold his own with me.

I know it sounds full of pride. But see, I'm not talking about shallow stuff here. I'm not talking about money or appearance.

I'm talking about a guy who can earn my full respect and my complete trust. See, now there is the tall older.