Dementia on the Road

I gave in to road rage! I can’t believe it now. But earlier I was so angry I wanted to slap the jeepney driver till he passes out.

The traffic in the Buendia flyover earlier was exaggeratingly slow and tight. For those who may not be familiar with this particular thoroughfare, two lanes from The Fort and two lanes from Kalayaan merge into two lanes into the main part of the flyover. You can just imagine what a squeeze it is.

In cases like this, the rule of the road is to merge alternately. Since it should have been my turn, I started to move in. But this blasted jeepney driver on my right, who, I apologize to say, is selfish and stupid, attached his jeep to the cab in front of him, coming dangerously too close for comfort, both to me and to the cab in front.

The problem is that since I was really supposed to be the next, I found myself in the position where I might be hit by both this (*@&(@#&(@* jeep and the vehicle on my left! Dementia Sandwich! Beautiful and tasty, but in this case, still dead meat.

Fortunately, the other vehicle, the one on my left, recognized my predicament and gave way so I can steer my wheel away from the jeepney driver from hell. (Bless you, whoever you are!) But the jeepney driver really got me so mad that when we were side by side, I actually got a coin and hurled it out my window! Wow! I really wanted to hurt him! I don’t mean just a bump or a bruise. I want to draw blood!

Then, as I passed him, he hit back. He threw a coin back at my car. And he wasn’t going to stop at that. From my rearview mirror, I saw him reaching out to get another coin. (I’m sure I angered him too. And added to that, his coin didn’t even nick my paintjob! Nyahahaha! That’s not to say though that my coin did damage. I’m no athlete. Just a gorgeous goddess of the road. In this case, an angry, gorgeous goddess.)

Seeing that made me hit the roof! The nerve of that selfish brute! I actually unbuckled my seatbelt, went down from my car, marched towards his jeep & screamed at him! I really went at it. I gave him a dressing down like there’s no tomorrow. In all fairness, I didn’t utter one derogatory word. Not a one.

I could have resorted to name-calling, spoke in a coarse language he can understand. But I’m still a classy lady though it wasn’t really evident at the time. I resisted the temptation and just told him in full volume that he doesn’t have the right of way he insists he had. (Technically, he was correct in the sense that when he almost rammed the bumper of the cab to prevent me from merging, he got his right of way. But I’ not going to admit that outright.) He could hardly get a word in edgewise. Then the traffic started to move and the vehicles started honking. So I marched back into my car and drove on.

It should have ended there. Yet one can only hope. I must have angered him further because he cut off the vehicle behind me and tail-gated me till we reached the end of the flyover. His headlights were on real bright. I guess he intended to get back at my screaming by trying to blind me and scare me. (But I am Dementia. I don’t scare easily. And bad for him to because I just know how to counter that. Does he think he’s some kind of a genius prankster? Doesn’t he know that half of the drivers in Metro Manila are insensitive brutes like him? Mister, what you try to deliberately do, others have done thoughtlessly before.) I just adjusted my rearview mirror, saving my pupils from damage.

After I screamed at him, my anger has dissipated. So I already had enough control over my emotions to keep cool. Besides, I knew something he didn’t. I’m turning right at Paseo, which means that I will slowly work my way to the rightmost lane. Since his plying the Ayala-Pateros route, he can only try to irritate me to a point. Har har har!

Apparently, the brute wasn’t done yet. At one point, he even cut me off, slicing into the space in front of me. Why aren’t you the dearest thing? You just gave me enough space to change lanes. Ha! He attempted to do it a couple more times. No dice, amigo! Unlike you, my right of way is clear. I didn’t survive 15 driving years with no accident by being stupid. Take that and weep!

Eventually, I did reach my right turn. So long, sucker! And I drove the rest of the way in peace.

It may sound hilarious, even bordering on ludicrous. But when it was happening, it’s as serious as a heart attack I was fearing for my wallet! Car repair isn’t cheap! And how can I explain that some selfish moron just doesn’t get the rule of the road called merge alternately?