Warning to the reader:
This post may seem like too self-congratulatory. Excuse the writer. I have been down in the dumps awhile. I'd like to take this opportunity to life my spirits again.
When this post started to form in my head, my working title was The Nice Things About Being Me. Sounds so self-serving and totally arrogant. But that's not really my intention.
The germ of the idea for this post started just as I was about the turn in for the night. Or what's left of it (it was actually past 3am, if you must know). I turned off the light and thanked God for the day that just passed. As is often, I'd tell Him that should I not awaken in the morning, I'm fine with that. He won't hear me making such a spectacle of myself at the mouth of heaven demanding to be put back to earth for some unfinished business, things i still want to do, that it's not yet my time, etc. I meant it. I certainly feel it in my heart.
Most everyone who hear me say that I'm okay checking out of this place anytime chastise me for thinking negatively. But i disagree. How can it be negative to feel okay to pass away? What's negative about being okay with the course you have run?
Death is not a negative thing. It just is. It only becomes negative when you see it as an end to a good thing.
I mean sure, life is a good thing. But death is not the opposite of life. Death is as much a part of life as birth is.
Yes, there are thins that would be nice to experience. But i don't consider them unfinished business. They would have just enhanced my existence.
And i thought to myself, that's one thing nice about being who i am. I have followed my heart and it took me through a ride as rough, as exhilarating, as painful and as fun as white water rafting (on your bum?).
My life at the moment seems empty, true. And yes, it would be nice to have someone around, someone who gets me. But except for going at it alone, my life is full.
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So what's another nice thing about being me? I have stars on my ceiling. so every night, at i turn out the light, it's almost like i'm sleeping under the stars. Who cares if they are really just glow in the dark stickers? I don't.
2 comments:
on the contrary, i love your prayer! why didn't i think of telling God that? it doesn't show that you're being negative, it means you are perfectly at peace with yourself. but that's just me talking, you know they always say pisceans are oddballs, right ;)
oh, and we also have glow in the dark stickers in our room. although ours are 3D dinosaurs, so it's like checking into jurassic park every night hahaha!
yep, pisceans are. count me there.
i love the jurassic park idea!
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