At 11pm, the drive from Libis to The Fort takes all of five (5) minutes. And there I was zipping through C-5 with another singleton. No we’re not party poopers who left early. We actually came from work.
Actually, I was the one working. Magenta opted to stay behind to keep my company since had she left, I’d be all alone at the office with the resident ghosts. (She felt sorry for them. Tee-hee!)
While my fingers were busy tapping the keyboard and clicking the mouse, I mused aloud that had we been married or at least attached, we’d both be feeling guilty about staying behind way past quitting time. And how much of a bummer that is, to answer to someone about how you opt to spend your time. And then I pointed out that it might be exactly for that reason why we are still both single. No boyfriends yet and we are already complaining how they’d be behaving!!!
That made us both laugh aloud. Pardon to the ghosts who are used to having the office to themselves at that late an hour!)
But that really got us both thinking. Or at least, me. The question of how we both have managed to miss the relationship train perplexed me. We’re both capable women who both aren’t bad-looking. We speak well, we have brains, we’ve had relationships, we’re basically nice people, and yet, somehow, then men failed to find us.
Sure, there is a certain standard I want to adhere to when it comes to the men-choices I make. But don’t we all? Who wants to get less than what they feel they deserve. The question now is, are my requirements too stringent? I don’t think so. I believe that I am quite reasonable. I’m not asking for the moon.
First, let’s cover the outer layer. I want someone whom I can stand looking at every day for the rest of my life. (Note that I didn’t say good-looking, gorgeous, or handsome.). He just have to be a bit taller than I am. (I’m not a towering pillar of gorgeousness. I am of average height so this isn’t impossible.) I just want a decent dresser. (Again, I have to look at him everyday so chequered shorts with striped shirts and green socks just won’t do.) Also, I have that extra requirement that he has to be comfortable wearing dressier clothes because I have familial obligations.
Second, let’s cover abilities. My family has musical leanings so carrying a tune and having a rhythm is important. I’m not looking for a handyman, but knowing his way around the house would be good. No morons please. He has to understand me and I have to understand him. I’m no moron, so I don’t think he should be. He should be able to handle finances well. Since I’m a slave of retail therapy, he has to be able to rein me in. He should be able to make me laugh. A relationship without laughter is dead. A guy who understands the concept of independence and co-dependence will enjoy being with me. I like playing. Knowing how to play within the relationship will keep it healthy and fresh. (Will he run if I bring out the whip or the Scrabble?)
Third, the rest of him. Well, I can be a handful, both in a good way and a bad way. So he has to be able to handle me, swing with me and balance me. In the hands of a good man, I can be quite a gem! A great sense of humor is very important, one that has a wide range. And to have that wide range, means to have a wide range of interest as well. I’m looking for a 4D person, someone with substance. And please, if you’re too impressed with yourself, please stay away. I might make a sport out of knocking you off your high horse. A man who is not afraid of a strong woman is equally strong. Who wants a guy whom a woman can intimidate or whom can be made to feel less than himself? Not me.
So we’ve covered the basics. My only other requirement is chemistry.
See? Is such a guy hard to find? Now go find me that man.
Postscript:
After I finished drafting this post, I had lunch with a friend and my blessed-singleness became the topic again. Nope, it's not out of desperation on my part. I just updated her about a friend of mine who will get married in two (2) weeks. That's what led to the topic. (Yeah, I'm being defensive. coz I'm not desperate, just perplexed.)
Anyway, we watched Burn After Reading afterwards. It was an intelligent person's funny movie. (Yeah, I'm intelligent so I got it. Got a problem with that?) One of the female characters would bring her dates to this movie to check if they get the humor of the film. Well, Burn After Reading will have to be that movie for me. The Coen Brothers just doomed me to spinsterhood for life!
(Darn it! Find me that single guy who gets this film and who fulfills the qualifications above and I swear I'll go out with and give him a shot.)
1 comment:
just want to share. when i was single, i also had a "criteria for judging". he had to be this and he had to be that. i got into a lot of relationships where i thought the guy had it all...and it turned out they didn't. i'd like to blame them and say that they hoodwinked me into thinking they were perfect for me, but that would mean i'm washing my hands, right? i realize now that i probably only saw what i wanted to see. classic case of selective perception.
the day i said i didn't want to get into a relationship and threw my imaginary list to the wind was the day i met my ex-boyfriend, who is now better known as my husband :)
come to think of it, many of us strive to find our clone. we have so many expectations. yet we forget that what our divine writer designed for us is not a clone, but a partner. which means that, while he may not have all the qualities we wish for, he will complement our personalities and make us bloom even more.
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