Ang Laman Ng Kahon Ay...

I had not dated in a loooong time. The last time i went out with a stranger (someone I don't have a relationship with) was in 2002. And even before that, I had not really been a serial dater.

So yes, I consider myself a dating novice. I'm almost ignorant of rules and nuances that go with it. Imagine then the quandary I was in Saturday night, faced with my first date in years.

A friend offered to fix me up with her cousin-in-law, so sure we'd hit it off because, apparently, we're both crazy. Plus we share the age box (over 35). So after some cajoling, I agreed.

I learned a couple of days before that the date will be a videoke thing. I had a short moment of confusion. Don't dates require conversation? I had expected dinner or coffee or drinks. Oh well, I'm just going. I didn't plan it so I can't squeak.

Although I balked at the idea. Not because I don't like singing. Just the opposite. I can be a videoke-demon. It's an ongoing battle I have with myself. I was concerned for a bit that the guy will not meet me at my best because microphones can make me go berserk. But I thought that's not the kind of thing you tell the person who thinks you're good enough for her relative.

I arrived promptly at the appointed time. I was surprised to find that the room reserved was for 10 people. I had expected just for four: the date-setting couple and the blind dating-couple. Isn't that what dates are for? Getting to know each other and see if there could be anything?

Turned out aside from us, there's a dating couple, a husband and wife team, and a cousin. Numbers. Hhhhmmm. I guess that is safe. You get exposed to each other without the pressure of trying to make a good impression. Not that I worry, really. I mean, leave a guy in my illuminating presence and he'd fall at my feet (kidding! nobody react now.).

When he appeared, it was only then that I realized that even though I wasn't really thinking about it, I did have some expectations. Like I would be able to make a quick assessment if I like the physical package. No, I'm not referring to physical beauty. (Honey, when you look at guys my age, beauty is not a requirement anymore. acceptability is.) I am expecting to feel if I'm attracted or not. Does that make sense?

We did hit it off almost from the start. In the sense that the conversation was never awkward or stilted. So for six hours, we sat beside each other, singing, talking, laughing, even a little bit of dancing, and basically enduring a lot of ribbings and not-so-subtle pushing. It really was a good thing that I went into this thing with the intention of just meeting a new person, rather than looking at him as a potential partner. Because if that weren't the case, I wouldn't have been able to have fun. All I'd do is assess his suitability. That's no way to enjoy an evening.

Finally it was time to go home. We said our farewells and he walked me to my car. As we stopped by my parking space, he said he ran out of batteries and will get my number from my friend, his cousin-in-law. What else is there to say but yes? It was then that the awkwardness happened. How to say goodbye?

For a moment that seemed longer than it is, no one said anything. So I extended my hand, which he took, and then I leaned forward for an air kiss.

Then it was over. I walked to my car and with a wave, I drove off.

On my way home, I pondered about that short conversation about the phone number. What does "I run of out batteries but I'll get your number from S" mean? I'm being polite? You're a nice girl but no? I ran out of batteries but I'll get your number from S?

Then I thought, what the heck? what happens, happens. If he's interested, he'll call. If not, he won't. I don't need to read the book, He's Not That Into You, to tell me that if he doesn't, he's not.

But whether we admit it or not, any form of rejection stings a bit. And not calling is a mild form of rejection. Although I do prefer that over leading someone on. I wouldn't do that and neither do I want that done to me. So bottomline, this is just being honest and fair.

But see. Although I didn't feel a spark of romantic interest, it was good to be able to speak to someone besides the usual people in your life. To talk to someone who doesn't know everything about you. Someone you are still capable of surprising. And he could keep up with my conversation. A lot of guys cannot. Why do you think I'm still single?


Postscript:

S did call the next day to check up on the result of her match-making. I admitted that there wasn't a spark but I'm good with being friends. And she said that he's interested. And that he did mention to her that he will get my number from her. It's more than 24 hours since we said goodnight. No phonecall. So that's it then, I suppose.

I'm not sorry I went. In fact, if someone else volunteers to fix me up, I wouldn't mind going. I enjoyed myself, it was good, clean fun. So why not?