astray

As i tap my words on these keys
I know I may regret this in the morning
But tonight I've chosen to say this
Though I don't want to change anything

This afternoon opened my eyes
About how things have changed a lot
I wish I can tell you why
I may have answers but not to that

I came to you today damaged
And I had no one to blame but me
That girl you knew has changed
She has gotten older, rougher, gritty

Tell me, have I gone so far astray
From who I was supposed to be
The thought came to me when we embraced
The me in your arms is a different me

The paths I have chosen had been rocky
I lost sight of what I could have been
I ran after the chance to be loved for me
To be seen, to mean something

Sure there was much I have learned
Every fall, every heartbreak was a lesson
I kept at it everytime till I burned
Happiness was the ultimate intention

But my choices were faulty at best
Throwing caution for the chance
Yet each end led to emptiness
No laughter can seem to mend

Oh, I have gone so far astray
From that girl who was with you
I realized that as we embraced
Yet for that moment I was that girl you knew

Then I went home and the world came down
It's like all emotions washed over me
What was all in right is now wrong
And the afternoon showed it glaringly

Your arms were like a cocoon
It felt right & warm & safe & sound
Haven't felt that way in a thousand moons
Like I belong, like I've been found

And when we talked you really listened
Like everything I said was important
Your lips on mine was heaven
Haven't felt like that in a long time

I do have gone way astray
From the woman I thought I'd be
What can I do, what can I say
It was in your arms that it hit me

And now you're staying away
Confusing me all the more
I do understand you have nothing to say
Maybe to you all this rambling is a bore

I'm sorry you witnessed me like this
I'm not as put together as you thought
I too am surprised by this
An unpleasant revelation to us both

But I am much better now
I have reconciled with myself
I have my sanity back in tow
Have put my insecurities back on shelf

I agree I have gone far astray
From what I thought I would be
But I realized that it's okay
Because I am happy with this me

got the photo from www.crestock.com