melancholia

i don't want to say it
for the moment the words are out
i have sent the message to the universe
and it will become all the more true

but my heart is filled with heaviness
and my head is pounding
and my body is tired
and my eyes is tearing
and the light at tunnel's end
is nowhere in sight

owning positivity is unattainable
believing is wishful thinking

ironic that in the hottest summer of my life
the sun in my heart won't rise

i am drowning in an avalanche of the un-done
wading in dripping unfulfillment
wallowing in the muck of self-disappointment

who would have thought
that a job can be
an emotional roller coaster ride
as bad as star-crossed love affair

and worse
no one to hug the monsters
away








plaster girl photo from www.az-ya.deviantart.com, mud photo from www.lifeinthefastlane.ca, monster photo from www.gettyimages.com