Signs It's Time to Change Jobs (a re-visit)

I wrote this entry on September 26,2008. I looked it up because I find myself thinking more and more about leaving my current job. I also noticed that my usual patience about work complications has gotten so short, I'm still fuming 15 minutes after a conversation which offends me.

I had been telling myself off more often lately, about thinking that it's no longer healthy, that i have started to question the sincerity of certain people. It has become a negativity-ridden existence, work-wise, that is.

I promise that I will continue to balance my reactions and thoughts. It's a struggle but I will. But I will also start looking for a new nest.

Yes, Gerry, i suppose you're right. I have not gotten over being idealistic. But I'm also not uncompromising. I have done my best to live with it. But the love is gone, the run is done, the song is sang.

Recently, I noticed that my thoughts everyday as I drive to work has taken on a recurring theme. There must be some who are experiencing the same things as I am but cannot bring themselves to admit it yet. To help things along, maybe this will clarify things for you.

1. Every morning, you have a debate with yourself about whether or not you will go to work that day. (check!)

2. You say things like “Like I care” or “I don’t give a fuck” or “I don’t fucking care” (or other versions) with such regularity, your officemates are beginning to quote you. And sometimes, they actually beat you to it. There you were, the words beginning to form in your head and you’re surprised you heard them before they came out of your lips. (Well, i don't speak those words but these days, i tend to make mental snorts whenever I hear statements about caring for people, wanting the best for everyone, etc. Does that count? It's my list so i say, check!)

3. There are days when you feel like being unemployed might be a better option than spending another day at the office.

4. The only thing that’s keeping you is the fact that you don’t have another job yet.(check!)

5. There are two (2) things you look forward to everyday: lunch time and quitting time. (when i get around to it, yes. so check!)

6. The kindest thing you can think of to say about your boss is “He’s too nice, it’s sickening”. (I've heard it said that the problem with Xavier is that he never experienced being a foot soldier so he doesn't understand. Is that a check?)

7. You have lost all respect for the people you work for. (not all but it's going there. check!)

8. When asked for the name of your company, you hem and haw and uuuhhhmmm and purse you lips before you say it. You loath to be identified with them.

9. When your officemates ask you if you’re coming to work the following day, you say, “When I feel like it.”

10. When people ask you what is your position in your company, you want to append your answer with “Not for much longer.” (check!)

11. When it's time to go home, you actually heave a huge sigh of relief. And there are days you feel very thankful you won't see the office until the next day (if you decide to report for work.)

12. When everything you must do at the office feels like an imposition on your benevolence.

(wow! 5 out of 12! less than 50% is there hope after all? Do i want there to hope still?)

Sometimes, you just need to open yourself to the possibility that enough is enough. That it is time to move on. And maybe, just to purge all your negative emotions, shout GOOD RIDDANCE! as you walk out the door for the last time.